Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Field, pt. 2

Oh, but in a sudden twist, Gingrich scores big in South Carolina--indeed, people do love their Money! In his victory speech Newt (no last name needed!) made repeated jabs at Obama, the "foodstamp President," promising that he'd instead be the "paycheck president"--oh, but Newt! I'd much, much rather have the foodstamps! You'd never imagine the feasts they allow me! Do you mean to suggest that you're going to take away my foodstamps, you walking porkchop?--you pustulated meatball of a presidential candidate? You will never take away my foodstamps! Paycheck president my ass, paychecks are fickle. But of course Newt cannot, will not, could never gain the final prize--he is too blindingly piggish, too obscenely porcine to ever win hearts en masse. Mark my words (tm)!

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